8/28/05

Dream 1: I am in the corner of a large hotel conference room behind a very large television trying to determine why it isn't working. The television is angled in a corner of the conference room and there is little room behind it.

The door to the room opens and someone enters. I cannot see out from behind the TV and I am sure that they cannot see me.

A heavyset woman appears at the cabinet beside the TV and begins searching for something. I become suspicious and ask what she is looking for. She explains that she left her lighter here but she doesn't know where or what color it is.

I suspect that she is stealing things but I have no proof.

Dream 2: My roommate complains about the carpets being dirty. I can see the dirt and don't think much of it. I walk off to another room and when I return he has cut deep grooves into the main traffic areas of the carpet and has started removing the soiled carpet and replacing it. Throughout the house, the main walkways are a short-pile teal colored carpet. The rest of the carpeting is an oatmeal colored berber.

I am shocked that he would do something so odd. If he wanted new carpet, why not replace the whole thing? I shake my head and repeat over and over, "No, no, no." I wake up saying, "No, no, no."

Dream 3: I am sneaking up on my mother and brother shopping in a large mall. They are walking toward and escalator that will take them down to the main level, I am approaching from behind railings that overlook the lower floor. There is an elevator shaft next to the escalator and I am sure that I can remain hidden and surprise them when they are on the escalator.

The only problem is that I am carrying an oil painting that is a bright red canvas two feet by two feet. Even if they are likely to miss seeing me, they cannot miss the painting.

I continue sneaking up. My brother sees me but my mother does not. She makes it onto the escalator as I run up beside her. She is surprised and decides to sit down on the escalator on the step below where I stand. She is turned towards me and we talk as the escalator moves us downward. A woman walking past us comments about how this position looks obscene. I am appalled that people can be so crass.

8/23/05

Dream 1: I am in a home that I do not recognize. As I move through the rooms - sometimes alone, sometimes with others - I am affected by the owner's use of color. Every room is painted in bold colors and my emotions move with the color. The purple room brings feelings of veneration and solemnity. The blue room is tranquil. Whoever decorated this home was not afraid of color. The yellow room, where I spent most of my time, was uplifting. On closer inspection, I noticed that every wall was actually a different shade of yellow and that the shadows in the room were painted onto the walls. I wondered what it would do to your emotions to live in a home that colorful.

Dream 2: I am with a tour group in the Canadian wilderness. We have just arrived in front of a gritty, backwoods homestead. I can see through the hand-made, rough-cut, middle-of-nowhere veneer to the mass-marketed, souvenier-hawking, made-in-china underpinnings. What at first seemed to be a quiet retreat from the constant motion of everyday life was really just another cheap tourist attraction. Between the beams in the log cabin dining hall, I see brightly colored stacks of potato chip wrappers where I had been expecting to see freshly harvested produce.

I stand outside the camp and watch the tour guides, all dressed alike in their buckskin vests and blue jeans with leather top hats, lead tourists out into the woods. I see the trained "wild" horses wandering around. One of the horses comes over to me and rears up. Not wanting to get struck by the horse's hooves, I back up a few steps and turn to walk away. The horse takes a few steps forward and catches me between its raised forelegs and holds me in that position. Caught between horse's chest and forelegs, I am unable to move. I feel the horse's weight on my back and shoulders and feel it move, spoonlike, up against me.

I am unsure of how to get out of the horse's grip and am becoming afraid. I ask for help from other people but no one seems concerned. I do not know what to do to get the animal to let go of me.

8/17/05

Dream 1: I am traveling through the NJ neighborhood where I grew up. My mode of transportation is a seat-sized funnel. Placing my seat in the funnel and resting the tube on the ground, I am able to move throughout the town: the barber shop, the grocery, up and down familiar streets. As the dream progresses, the funnel's tube becomes worn and locomotion is more difficult. I realize that to move using the funnel, there must be a slight vibration between the tube and the ground. Uneven surfaces disrupt the vibrations and cause excessive wear on the tube. As the tube wears down, movement becomes more difficult.

Dream 2: I am in grade-school heading to the restroom to pee. When I open the restroom door, I see that the janitor is in the process of cleaning up. In this restroom, the commodes are just holes in the ground with lids on them. There are streaks of slimy goo running from most of the commodes toward the mop that the janitor is swishing back and forth across the tile floor. There are two unsoiled commodes at the back and, stepping over the messes, I make my way toward them. Reaching the commode, I begin relieving myself.

Another student comes up next to me to use the only other clean commode. He places his foot in front of my stream and I have to stop to keep from wetting him.

He is a short kid, not very good looking. He tells me that he is upset and that he is thinking of doing something like suicide. He doesn't call it suicide but I know that it is just as final. I explain to him that he is good looking and that whatever is troubling him will pass. He is reluctant to believe me at first but I keep providing him with all of the reasons that he is valuable and why his existence is so worthwhile.

8/16/05

Dream 1: I am talking in a hallway at work with several co-workers. The scene keeps changing: we are inside, outside, in a hallway, in a conference room, at home. Like the scenery, the people in the dream keep changing. Throughout these changes, there is one person who remains. I am sexually attracted to this person but am afraid to mention my interest. Somehow, throughout the scene and personnel changes, we are left alone. I decide to mention that I am strongly attracted to him. He responds that he is attracted to me and, just like in the movies, the music swells as we fall into one another's arms and kiss passionately.

Dream 2: I am back in the hallway at work talking with co-workers. I need to have a bowel movement but do not want to use the employee bathroom. I know that there are other, more private bathrooms on the floor and intend to use one of these. There should be one in the corner of the building and I walk in that direction. The man from my last dream sits in this area and I will have to pass by his desk to reach the bathroom. I do not want to acknowledge our earlier passionate encounter in the hallway but I don't want to ignore him either. I look for the bathroom but all I find are closets and offices. I know that there was a bathroom here earlier and I am confused at what might have happened to it.

Words from the waking world: From my dreams, you might think that all we do at work is stand around and talk - nothing could be further from the truth.

8/14/05

Dream 1: I am at work standing in a busy hallway talking with my boss. There are several people scurrying up and down the corridors looking purposeful. A woman in a red dress waits in the hallway.

I am aware that this is a dream and I know that this is my dream and that I can alter it to be whatever I want it to be.

I decide that the woman's red dress should be yellow.

I wait and become a little disoriented when it doesn't happen immediately. Is this really a dream or am I awake? If it is not a dream then what happens when I alter it?

The dress is now yellow. I am relieved that this is a dream and that I am in control. I think that the dress looks silly in yellow and I begin to giggle. It strikes me funny that I can control my dreams and I begin laughing in earnest.

I wake up laughing.

Dream 2: I am back in the same halllway at work. I am still talking to my boss. Again I am aware that this is a dream and that I can control it.

I decide to make this one sexual and immediately transform my boss into someone desirable. I am amazed at how easy this was and am extremely pleased by how quickly I go from standing in a hallway talking to a troll to being in a private place getting intimate with the perfect sex partner.

Words from the waking world: I have not had lucid dreams in decades. I had forgotten how much fun they can be.

8/13/05

I am completing an employment application with my previous employer. Having worked here before, I assume that completing the employment application is just a formality.

The woman assisting me is from the HR department. We do not know each other. I am surprised that new people have been hired since I left. This woman is filling out the forms for me and is making many mistakes. Since this is a legal document, she does not erase the mistakes. Instead, she marks each mistake with a different colored highlighter then, she runs a yellow highlighter along the edge of the highlighters cap and using the edge of the cap makes a yellow line under the area she just highlighted. She then marks her initials and date on the yellow line and asks me to do the same.

The application is riddled with highlighted areas, each underscored with a yellow line and our initials and date. It embarrasses me that I will be turning in such an unprofessional document but she is the one filling it out and she is in control.

We complete the form and I walk through the building looking for my old boss who walks out of an office as I turn a corner in the corridor almost causing us to collide with one another.

I am happy to see her but notice that she is crying. I say I am sorry to see that she is upset and she starts sobbing uncontrollably and moves quickly into her office which is secured by a card-key system. Since I do not have access to this area, I wait outside for someone to pass by that can let me in.

I stand listening to her cry and wonder what could be so terrible.

8/12/05

Dream 1: I am at a friends house party. Guests are clustered in groups both inside and outside the home. Everyone is enjoying themselves.

Coming in from outside, I notice that there are muddy footprints covering the off-white carpeting in the living room. The footprints are small and look to be made by golf shoes with spikes.

I start into the kitchen to get cleaning supplies when I notice a child with muddy shoes. I see the bottom of the shoes and realize that this is where the the mud on the carpet has come from. I know that I can't just grab the kid and rip his shoes off so I calmly approach him.

I am standing in the kitchen cleaning the kid's shoes. He is on the floor screaming and throwing a tantrum. Guests are looking at me as if I were doing something wrong. I am embarrassed by his histrionics but I know that the host would want me to keep him from making more of a mess.

Dream 2: I am watching a movie with a friend. We are in my living room which is on the second story of an office building. The movie is being shown on the outside wall of the adjacent office building. I am enjoying the movie and watch it with my eyes open. My friend is enjoying the movie but is curled up on the couch with his eyes closed. I ask him about the movie and am astounded that he can describe it even though he didn't see it. He explained that he could hear it and that was enough for him to know what was going on.

8/11/05

I am in a bathroom with my parents and several friends. In front of me is a short partition and a commode (that is sometimes a urinal). There is a party atmosphere, we are laughing and having a good time.

Someone starts explaining the rules of the game we are playing. To win, I have to pee on everything. This doesn't sound too difficult and I proceed without hesitation.


First I wet the floor and begin working upwards. There is a hollow space behind one of the walls and when I hit it it sounds musical. Rather than peeing in a stream, I modulate the flow and start sending short bursts which drum on the walls. Using the hollow space in the wall I am able to create tunes.

People are amazed by my skillful use of urine to create a decent tune. As I play on, everyone - including me - is splashed by the spray.

Eventually, I finish and we survey the wetness. Everything is dripping except for one small spot that I couldn't hit because it was behind the short partition in front of me.

8/10/05

I am standing with others watching fireworks. They are spectacular. The crowd is amazed by the colors, the formations and the sounds. The finale starts and fills the sky with brilliant motion. The ground vibrates from the concussive effects of the fireworks. Everyone is on their feet in total awe when small sparks begin to float down.

The sparks are bright but not hot. We hold our hands out to catch them but they melt away like colorful snowflakes. The finale at its peak; fireworks are rising, blooming and fading away at an incredible rate. The rain of sparks has increased and now sounds like a downpour.

I hold my hands out to catch the sparks and realize that these are not sparks, they are heart-shaped confetti and glitter. My cupped hands quickly fill with puffy, pink and purple, confetti hearts and dazzingly colored foil confetti. The sound of them raining down drowns out the sound of the finale. Everyone is elated.

8/8/04

I am standing in the schoolyard where as a teenager I used to hang out with friends. I am reaching for a cigarette and can feel the familiar shape of the pack in my pocket. I don't want a cigarette and feel the pack disintegrate within my pocket.

It is daytime. There is no one around. The school hasn't changed but I have, I am not a teenager.

I start walking down the street away from the school. The further I get from the school, the darker it gets. It is now nighttime and I can see the stars laid out across the sky in beautiful geometric patterns. I am amazed by how clear the night is.

Reaching the end of the road, I decide to head left into a neighborhood where everyone I lusted after as a teenager lived. My plan was to walk by their houses and, if they were outside, I could casually say hello and then seduce them. I had the path laid out and a schedule (as if I knew in advance who would be outside and who would not).

Words from the waking world: The thought of having sex with everyone I lusted after as a teenager was appealing. Going from a causual hello to having sex seemed natural. I haven't thought of these people in years but everyone from my waking teen lust list was on my dream list (there were many) and the order on my dream schedule reflected the intensity I lusted after them in real life.

8/7/05

Words from the waking world: It is noontime on Sunday. With only one short trip out of the house, I have been asleep since Friday night. Don't know what I had but it seems to be gone now. There were lots of strange dreams... here are a few.

Dream 1: I am entertaining several guests in my home including my parents who, after exchanging niceties with the other guests, decide to change into something more comfortable. They leave the party and return wearing next to nothing. My mother has no pants and only a see-through scarf that is draped over her breasts. My father is wearing a t-back... backwards... so that the part that normally rides in the butt-crack is in front supporting his penis. I am shocked by their attire and mortified when they decide to dance around the other guests.

Dream 2: My cousin, my partner and I are lying around watching the weather on TV. We are naked but it is not sexual. We are wrapped around one another in one big confusion of arms and legs. our attentions are focused on the weather report. For no obvious reason, the scene is depressing.

Words from the waking world: My cousin was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and given 6 months to live.

Dream 3: A friend, not known for her neatness, opens her freezer. I am amazed at how well ordered everything is in there. Chewing gum is stacked so that every label is visible, beer is off to one side arranged alphabetically (it's frozen but it is neat), other items are all neatly stowed for easy access. When I comment on how neat her freezer is she shrugs it off as if everyone should have a neat freezer no matter how they maintain the rest of the house.

We move from her kitchen to the yard where she is surprised that I hadn't noticed the wood-burning of a dog that she had done. It was supposed to be sleeping, she jokingly tells me, but it looks dead. There, beside the garden pathway is a large wood-burning picture of a dead dog. I don't tell her that if she didn't leave the tongue hanging out or use x's for eyes, it might not look so dead.

As we stand there, I am confused by who she really is. She started out as a friend but now she is a woman I used to work with. The co-worker had two children - my friend has none. I wonder where the children are and how this woman can be so happy after abandoning her children. She still looks like my friend but I am upset that she would forget her children ... or her husband. The man this woman is living with is not the husband and father of the children. She looks like my friend but I believe she is my co-worker.

Dream 4: A friend and I are in a hotel room. I had to climb in through the window, she was already inside. My shirt is sweaty and I change into a clean, dry one. She takes a shower. My new shirt is now all sweaty and I am self-conscious about her being all clean and me being sweaty. I have no other clothes and want to go home to get some but that would take too long. I feel dirty.

8/5/05

I am at the combined Democratic / Republican National Convention which is taking place underground. The building is about a mile long but only seventy-five feet wide. There are underground parking lots at each end of the building.

There are no windows in the building. Doors separate the length of the building into many sections - like train cars. The only way to pass between sections is through secured doors. Some people have keys, others use keypads to enter codes, still others uses card keys. No one, except me, would ever think of passing through without proper access. Since I have no key, I just wait for someone I know to open the door and follow them through.

I started on the Republican side. There are tables and booths set up displaying bumper stickers, t-shirts and reading material. Everything is neat and tidy. Everyone proceeds in an orderly manner.

I want to move to the Democratic side and follow friends through the locked exit/entryways between sections until I am at the opposite end. Passing through the sections I noticed that there were many free handouts being offered at the different booths: key-chains, t-shirts, small snack bags...

My intent is to proceed from this side to the other and collect all of the goodies that are being handed out. As I look around, I notice that things are not like they were on the other side. People are not organized and move chaotically back and forth, bumping into one another. The booths are in disarray with free handout items scattered on the tables or on the floor.

The friend that I followed into this last section has gone to the restroom and while I wait for her to return, I look for things that we might like to pick up. I find a t-shirt that cleverly looks like it has been worn to paint a house. There is a catchy logo that relates Democratic values to housepainting. I pick one up and look around for other handouts.

There is a booth offering snack bags that contain bad airline food: a dry turkey sandwich, chips and a cookie. My friend returns and I tell her to grab one of the t-shirts but to avoid the snack food.

We start towards the booth with the t-shirt and I begin to notice that there are homeless people setting out blankets and card tables and arranging lots of run-down goods on them. From old newspapers to toasters to umbrellas, they are filling the aisles with all kinds of stuff.

Unlike the handouts, the stuff being set out by the homeless is not for free. It is getting difficult to determine what is free and what needs to be paid for.

We are still trying to make our way back to the t-shirt booth but we keep stepping on blankets packed with these homeless people's wares. They scowl at us as we try to navigate through their space.

Very frustrated, we decide to give up. Remembering how neat and orderly everything was on the other side, we try to make our way through the sections so that we can collect things over there. It is very slow going.

8/4/05

Dream 1: I am getting ready to leave the doctor's office and walk home.

Words from the waking world: This is taking place in the town I grew up in. The doctor's office was a mile away and, since my mother didn't drive, it was not uncommon for us to walk to the doctor for routine visits.

As I am getting ready, the doctor indicates that he is done for the day and it would be no bother for him to drive me home.

We are in the car pulling into the doctor's driveway. His house is two blocks from my house and I wonder why he hasn't driven me all the way home as he offered. I am grateful that I only have to walk two blocks but at the same time curious as to why I didn't get dropped at home. The walk is questionable because the weather keeps changing between a cold fall rain and lush green summer.

As we pull into his driveway I am surprised by the condition of the house. Although not trashed, it is run down. Shingles are missing from the roof, the siding is rotted in several places, there are weeds in the yard and there are several cars in various states of disrepair in the driveway. I am surprised that a doctor wouldn't live in a better place.

Dream 2: I am with a couple of friends in the stands of a large outdoor stadium. The weather is pleasant. We are the only people in the stadium. The friends I am with keep changing.

We share different fruits that have been cut into bite sized pieces. There are no bowls or containers of any sort, these fruits just appear in someone's hand. They take a piece or two and pass the rest on to the others.

A man in overalls (a friend, but someone that I do not recognize in the waking world) stretches out across several of the benches to take a nap. In the pocket of his overalls he has a bunch of grapes that I would like to taste but I don't want to wake him to ask for them.

Very carefully, I slip my hand into his pocket and start removing the bunch of grapes. It is slow and painstaking because each grape in the bunch must be slid from the pocket individually while not removing it from the bunch.

The bunch is halfway out when the sleeping man stirs. I stop moving so that I don't wake him. In his sleep he grabs hold of my pinkie.

Without waking him - and now, without the use of my pinkie - I continue to remove the bunch of grapes from his pocket. When I finally get the bunch free, I look at the rest of my friends and they are all eating grapes from another bunch that one of the children in the group had been holding.

I eat a couple of grapes and realize that it was worth the effort. They taste wonderful.

8/3/05

My roommate invited dozens of friends to a party. The party is going well; people are eating, drinking, enjoying the company and enjoying our home. The party is inside, outside on the lawn and in the pool. People are everywhere and I am there with them.

My roommate has other obligations and must leave the party early. The guests stay and continue enjoying.

Things start changing subtly. First I notice people dropping things. Food gets dropped on the carpet, glasses are dropped on the lawn. Silverware, napkins, food, drinks are dropped but not cleaned up. People drop things but don't acknowledge it and I begin to get bothered.

Someone wants to take a picture by the pool and we all have to drape our towels across our shoulders like togas: calf length on one side, chest length on the other side. The folds on the long side of the towel must be perfect and fall like curtains gathered at evenly spaced intervals. We stand for the picture with our left arm (the one with the short drape) at our side and our right arm extended out to our side, long drape evenly spaced down the arm, with our right hand holding the left shoulder of the next person in the picture. It seemed very important to get the picture just right.

The party continues and people are really getting out of hand. Guests have long overstayed their welcome, the food and drink have run out and I am not happy that I have to deal with these people (who are not MY friends).

I start seeing evidence that they are raiding the refrigerator and the bar. Packages of frozen food are thrown on the lawn and on the floor. Many of the packages have been opened and just discarded as if the guest were looking for something specific and when they realized that this was just a frozen steak or chicken part they were not interested.

The bar was a mess. All of the good liquor was gone. People were mixing anything with everything and making a real mess of it.

I recognized some of the guests but most were unknown to me. These were not my friends! I was very annoyed that my roommate would have a party at our house then leave me with all of these rude people while he went off to do other things (that I assumed were not as messy).

8/1/05

A woman in a plain dress sitting sideways on a straight-backed shaker chair in a room lit only by candlelight. Shadows are long. She, like the room, is silent. It is late in the day. The sun has set behind the mountain but the sky is still light.

A stocky man sith sturdy legs in a black speedo in a Wall Street office. I, like the suited people around him, don't find his attire inappropriate. He, like the rest of us, is working.

A song that sounds like it's being performed by a 1980's super-group but it's only me singing. I hear the song as I write it -- words and music coming at the same time.

Fish in a pond obscured by lilly pads. They are in there, I know they are. I have seen them in the past but can't see them now.

Words from the waking world: These are shreds of dreams I had last night. There was no storyline connecting the dreams, only brief glimpses into other places.