7/11/2005
Thanks to Truman Capote for the title of this blogspot. Nocturnal Turnings was the title of a conversation in his book, Music for Chameleons.
Dream opens with me in a topless bar talking with one of the dancers. Since this is my first post, I really should do a better job of relaying the dream. Let me start again.
The dream opens with me sitting in a whorehouse talking to one of the women.
No, still not right.
The problem is that the terms "topless bar" and "whorehouse" have negative connotations for many and the dream had no negativity surrounding the place or the woman I was speaking with. In fact, the place was extremely comfortable and respectable. I know that the women working here get paid to have sex but that does not seem odd to me, it seems as natural as working as a cashier or a secretary.
Although the woman I am speaking with is nice looking, I can see that she has a propensity for putting on weight. I can see how her mother added weight as she aged and I can see the tell-tale signs of weight gain on this woman. Specifically, I see the cellulite on her mother's thighs and butt and I see small patches on the thighs of the woman I am speaking with. In this dream I do not like large women and am concerned by the possibility that after we marry, this woman will gain weight.
But even as I am thinking these thoughts, I am aware that we are totally compatible and I want very much to be with her. Not just "be with", I want more. I want a relationship with this woman. Even though we are just meeting and getting to know one another (I don't yet know her name), I feel like I have known her forever and that our future together is already happening.
From the way we are interacting, I can tell that she wants the relationship, too. There is nothing hidden between us. Even without speaking, we communicate.
I am feeling somewhat shy and we leave the house and go for a walk. The details of the walk are lost but we return with me feeling even more confident that this woman is really something special.
Back in the house/bar, I know that we laughed and talked on the walk and that feeling of camaraderie is still strong. We are close but not touching as we continue our conversations. People come and go around us. I know they are there but we are so intent on one another that we pay no attention to anyone else.
Note from the real world: I have been having dreams of marriage for several weeks. In dreams I have been marrying the oddest women - like Rue Mclennehan. The dreams are always pleasant, I am happy being married to these women.
At this point I realize that I don't know how to handle things. I do know that I am expected to pay for our time together and I know that her boss will be watching to make sure I pay but I don't know what is appropriate. I am not anxious about paying, I just know that it is the proper time to pay. Assuming that I am being generous, I give her $20. She accepts the money and, using a larger piece of paper to hide the bill in her hand, she pretends to count out $300.
Now, I am amazed that she is doing this. By pretending to count out $300, she is committing herself to have to pay her boss his cut on $300 (instead of the $20 I gave her). This seems incredibly generous to me.
Additionally, I am amazed that $300 is the going rate. I am not in the least bit bothered by her chosen profession and am somewhat pleased that she can make some money and contribute to our relationship. The fact that she is so generous and counts $300 instead of $20 makes me like her all that much more.
I am nervous about her possible weight gain but confident that she is the one woman for me.
Another note from the real world: I have never been in a whorehouse and have only been in topless bars twice so my frame of reference is limited.
The place in the dream resembled neither of the topless bars I had been in and appeared to be run more by Martha Stewart than by some Madam. The dream home was very clean, airy and incredibly comfortable. Sunlight spilled in from the many windows set high up in the walls. Stairways led up from the courtyard/living room that we were sitting in to a an upper level that at times had balconies and at other times were just open rooms or closed doors. The windows were sometimes above this second level and at other times part of the landscape of the second floor. At one point, her boss watched us from the top of one of the stairways with his back to a door in a windowless wall.
We spent most of our time perched on the edge of a plush, pillowy, cream colored sectional sofa facing each other. Our faces were only fractions of an inch apart but I could still see all of her. As we spoke, our hands would make gestures in the thin spaces between and around our faces but at no time did we touch. I did not think that it would be more comfortable to recline, sitting hunched over on the edge of the couch seemed the most natural position to be in.
Dream opens with me in a topless bar talking with one of the dancers. Since this is my first post, I really should do a better job of relaying the dream. Let me start again.
The dream opens with me sitting in a whorehouse talking to one of the women.
No, still not right.
The problem is that the terms "topless bar" and "whorehouse" have negative connotations for many and the dream had no negativity surrounding the place or the woman I was speaking with. In fact, the place was extremely comfortable and respectable. I know that the women working here get paid to have sex but that does not seem odd to me, it seems as natural as working as a cashier or a secretary.
Although the woman I am speaking with is nice looking, I can see that she has a propensity for putting on weight. I can see how her mother added weight as she aged and I can see the tell-tale signs of weight gain on this woman. Specifically, I see the cellulite on her mother's thighs and butt and I see small patches on the thighs of the woman I am speaking with. In this dream I do not like large women and am concerned by the possibility that after we marry, this woman will gain weight.
But even as I am thinking these thoughts, I am aware that we are totally compatible and I want very much to be with her. Not just "be with", I want more. I want a relationship with this woman. Even though we are just meeting and getting to know one another (I don't yet know her name), I feel like I have known her forever and that our future together is already happening.
From the way we are interacting, I can tell that she wants the relationship, too. There is nothing hidden between us. Even without speaking, we communicate.
I am feeling somewhat shy and we leave the house and go for a walk. The details of the walk are lost but we return with me feeling even more confident that this woman is really something special.
Back in the house/bar, I know that we laughed and talked on the walk and that feeling of camaraderie is still strong. We are close but not touching as we continue our conversations. People come and go around us. I know they are there but we are so intent on one another that we pay no attention to anyone else.
Note from the real world: I have been having dreams of marriage for several weeks. In dreams I have been marrying the oddest women - like Rue Mclennehan. The dreams are always pleasant, I am happy being married to these women.
At this point I realize that I don't know how to handle things. I do know that I am expected to pay for our time together and I know that her boss will be watching to make sure I pay but I don't know what is appropriate. I am not anxious about paying, I just know that it is the proper time to pay. Assuming that I am being generous, I give her $20. She accepts the money and, using a larger piece of paper to hide the bill in her hand, she pretends to count out $300.
Now, I am amazed that she is doing this. By pretending to count out $300, she is committing herself to have to pay her boss his cut on $300 (instead of the $20 I gave her). This seems incredibly generous to me.
Additionally, I am amazed that $300 is the going rate. I am not in the least bit bothered by her chosen profession and am somewhat pleased that she can make some money and contribute to our relationship. The fact that she is so generous and counts $300 instead of $20 makes me like her all that much more.
I am nervous about her possible weight gain but confident that she is the one woman for me.
Another note from the real world: I have never been in a whorehouse and have only been in topless bars twice so my frame of reference is limited.
The place in the dream resembled neither of the topless bars I had been in and appeared to be run more by Martha Stewart than by some Madam. The dream home was very clean, airy and incredibly comfortable. Sunlight spilled in from the many windows set high up in the walls. Stairways led up from the courtyard/living room that we were sitting in to a an upper level that at times had balconies and at other times were just open rooms or closed doors. The windows were sometimes above this second level and at other times part of the landscape of the second floor. At one point, her boss watched us from the top of one of the stairways with his back to a door in a windowless wall.
We spent most of our time perched on the edge of a plush, pillowy, cream colored sectional sofa facing each other. Our faces were only fractions of an inch apart but I could still see all of her. As we spoke, our hands would make gestures in the thin spaces between and around our faces but at no time did we touch. I did not think that it would be more comfortable to recline, sitting hunched over on the edge of the couch seemed the most natural position to be in.
posted by GFK at 9:26 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home